live the moment you’re in
It's been a bit of a logistical nightmare over the Easter break trying to juggle work and to be in multiple places at once with the kids’ social lives and sporting activities. But one of the bonuses of driving the boys about is that it offers rare and precious moments to connect with each other. There's something about driving or being a passenger that seems to make conversation easier. Especially if you’re a teenage boy.
As I drove our eldest to his golf tournament one morning we were discussing mindset in relation to golf. We talked about not letting a "bad hole" leach into the next one. I suggested that focussing on "playing the hole you're on" might be a helpful strategy. I must have got something right because I was informed that's what Tiger Woods says, and apparently he's not bad at golf. What do I mean by playing the hole you're on? It means focussing on what's happening in the present moment. Right now. Not allowing past performance or concerns about the future to colour your present experience.
I told my son about the conversation I had recently with Lana from Fitstride Coaching - I'm delivering a session on mindset and mindfulness for her upcoming Focussed Runner Retreat. We were discussing our mental approach to when the going gets tough. It's easy to focus in those moments on how hard the previous miles have been or to dwell on how many more miles there are to go and how hard that will be. In those moments, personally I remember to ask myself: can I stay with THIS breath? Can I take THIS next step? And if the answer is yes (99% of the time it is), I keep asking myself that until the feeling of challenge and impossibility inevitably passes. It’s incredible how far that focus can take you. Usually all the way home. Lana advises her coaching clients to "run the mile you're in" - it's the same principle. Focus on where you are NOW, not the previous miles or the next miles.
As I rushed that afternoon from collecting my eldest from golf, dropped him at home and picked up his brother to dash (late) to basketball training, I jumped in the car, drove away from the house and checked in with my body. My white-knuckled hands gripped the steering wheel, my abdominals were tense, my shoulders high and my brow knotted from the effort of making it all work. I took a deep breath, released it slowly and reminded myself: live the moment you're in. The logistics had been accomplished. The puzzle pieces had come together. We were on our way. Right in this moment all was well. I invited my body to relax and release. I eased my hands around the steering wheel, allowed my shoulders to drop, my stomach to release, and my expression to soften. I breathed and relaxed into the present moment.
Play the hole you’re on. Run the mile you’re in. Live the moment you're in.
It made me realise that is essentially what mindfulness does. Is teach us to live the moment we're in. Not live in the past or worry about the future. Because the moment we're always in - the present moment - is always now. And it’s usually absolutely fine.